Fish Swim Fervently through Tendrils of Desolate Nostalgia.

Can you imagine what it's like
To have your innards knotted so tightly
That you vehemently want to throw them up
'Til there's nothing inside of you
And your hollow waste of a body
Can live on without care?

Your vernacular pools
Succulent in piss-poor attempts
To hide the incredulous amount of
Interest you mask with disdain
Haunt me as I listen in the corner

Your cotton candy tongue
Spewing melodies to those who aren't me
As I dread every word I overhear

I want to be the muscle synapse that brings you to your knees.
I long to be the drink that courses through your veins, too strong for you to stand.
I ache to be a bird outside your window, singing songs that won't leave your head.

I wish to impact you.

My skin is burnt,
Marked by every single touch
Of your fingers
As they warmly slide over me
In the puddle of sweat
That our skin is spitting.
We fall together.
We rise together.
Every moment is a new beginning
New, white pages, crisp with creative opportunity -
Let's write our lives away.
Seal them in a notebook in a code only we understood
And pseudonyms made just for us.

Let's share our souls alone.
Let's bare our souls alone.

-

Drilling, spinning, burning
Numbing sets in, turning
Over my
Spacious mind corroding
To a narrow path that's
Dwindling into neuropathic suffering
My ligaments descending
Slowly disappearing
Feeling quickly going
'Til they no longer exist
Pines and needles coming
Stomach churning
Eyes are yearning
To cut off the oxygen caressing their wet surface
My eyes are full of sunlight
Yet they're aching for the night sky
Body wants to fall through
The confines of my bed
Disconnecting from my head
Brain continues melting
Take another pill
Shut up, you're okay.
You've always been this way.

Veins like City Grids in Summer Heat.

Water runs thicker than my blood

or maybe my blood just runs thick with water

I remain calm, cool, and collected

as my body attempts to sink into the cold kitchen floor

imagining it sinking into the ocean

with seaweed to hold me

and the water to rock me to sleep.

chest rising slowly, a heavy weight

accompanying

each and every fall

it gets harder to rise

my blood-water creeps into my head

blocks my sight

I try to stand but just fall down

a gentle hand, a kind hand

salvages my body from the plummet it just took

like a crane lifting the rubble

of a building held together

by false hopes and sheet-rock

instead of cognizance and steel

a body, a vacant hotel room

a light left on when you're not home

to make everyone think

that the house is not alone

well, it's alone.

we rise together, breath together

lay down, chests rising in rhythm

he is the water in my blood

he is what makes my blood run.

He keeps the air inside my lungs.

A tourniquet, a body brace,

life support.

He is medicine coursing through my veins.